First Concert of the Year

I LOVE CONCERT WEEKENDS!!!!!!!!!! They are my very favorite weekends of all. Do you know why? Because every time, no matter how unsure we might be the day before a concert, we find that our preparation pays off. I love sharing music that I love with an audience of fellow students, friends, family, and teachers of the choir members. I'm so glad that some of my very best friends we able to come! I love sharing the peace that I feel when I sing. I love being a part of something so beautiful. You might say it was worth the wait. It was definitely worth the perseverance. It is probably even worth the past disappointments. The highlight of this concert was the Pilgrim Song. I LOVE that song. I heard it first in high school, and have waited years to sing it with the BYU choirs. Now I have, and will many more times before the school year is over. Life is beautiful. This week we are jumping into even more beautiful music, getting ready for our next concert in November.

School is cool

So I'm getting into the swing of campus life. I had my first paper due today, so I wrote it this morning in true Meagan fashion. It was an easy one. Basically, the topic was perspective, and I could write whatever I wanted about my own insights from class, or the book, or life, etc. That was for my temporal welfare in the home class, which basically follows the outline of providentliving.org. And those taking the class are taking it because we fell in love with Dr. Israelsen when we took his family finance class. That really is the reason, because we had no clue what kind of class this was going to be.

Women's chorus started on friday, and I was instantly reminded how much I love it. Plus, I'm sitting by all my favorite people and some new favorite people. And our music is gorgeous as always. Our first concert is two weeks from tomorrow, so I imagine things might get a little stressful before then. Personally, I love it when choir gets stressful. I wouldn't mind if it was like that all the time.

I found out today that one of my teachers whose class I actually got an A in is looking for a TA. And it's a class in my major. The marriage prep class, to be exact. So, I emailed Dr. Carroll and I hope I'll hear from him soon. Not that I really know what a TA does besides grade papers sometimes, but maybe it would be good to find out. And I would have a job, 15 hours a week. And it would be INFINITELY better than custodial at 5am. Let's see, what do I have going for me? I'm a senior, hfl major, graduating in april, I loved his class, got an A in his class, and aparently my papers in his class were brilliant enough to get full credit, which means I definitely know what kind of papers he is looking for. I might even still have those papers. Plus it's all fresh in my mind because I just had it before I went to Jerusalem. Granted, my gpa is not really brilliant overall or in my major. But I'm definitely interested in the subject material. lol. So lets hope I at least get an interview.

Something different in store for me

Time is going ridiculously slow right now. It needs to go faster. I don't have class until 4:30, but I came up to campus for Singer's callbacks, for which I've been excited since last Tuesday. I wanted to see how many were on the final callback list when all the returning singers were added, so I went and looked at it. To my surprise, my name was gone. I wish I had known that before I left for campus. I did it again. I let my hopes up way too high, when I knew it was a mistake. This was a big dream for me, and that was my last chance. I wish I'd at least gotten to sing in callbacks, but apparently there is something else in store for me this year. I can't imagine what might make me as happy as being in Singers would have, but I hope I find it soon. What am I going to do with myself? I really am ok, just like I prayed I would be, but I feel this emptiness that needs to be filled. I'm not mad at myself really, because I did the best I could. I'm certainly not mad at Dr. Staheli because I don't think I can find that in me. I just really need something I can give myself to so that I can heal faster. Maybe this is a bigger deal to me than it should be, but it's too late to change that now. I can't help how much I have come to love Singers. I'll still be found there nearly every day, even if it hurts for a while. And I guess it's not like I won't be singing. I just have to get through more callbacks and then it can all start. I hope I can put my heart in it, because if not, it wont work. It's hard to give my best to what I don't want most.